Have you ever just had one of those days, weeks, or months, where it is just heartbreak after heartbreak?
December 15, 2017, was one of those days.
We went and viewed the perfect house for our hopeful growing family.
A house that we had enough room to move my grandmother from Florida in with us.
I was three days late for my period and super hopeful.
Then as the day went on, my heart began to break and my hope began to decrease, little by little.
First, we went to the bank to get approved for a mortgage for the house.
We were denied,
Second, we went to the library, and while there I used the restroom, only to find evidence of my womb still empty.
Then as we drove home I couldn’t help but think about what the next day would bring.
The day my Grandfather left us 13 years ago.
Long story short.
My heart was hurting more than it ever had before in my life.
I felt broken. Disappointed. Empty.
When someone tries to talk to me about it, I break down into tears.
I try to hold it together and be strong, but last month when I went through similar feelings, my one grandmother told me it is okay to cry, it is okay to grieve and share my feelings with God.
He wants me to share these feelings with Him. He knows them, every single one of them, but He wants us to come to Him with them.
“The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
God doesn’t actually deliver us from ALL of our troubles, but He delivers us THROUGH them, with His help!
He wants us to seek Him through our troubles and heartaches.
He wants me, and you, to cry out to Him and empty our pain into His arms so that He can begin to heal us.
That brings me to the lesson I am learning through all of this…
God’s Will, not my own.
What an incredibly hard lesson to learn!
For someone who has a controlling personality, I want to control how my life goes… But God wants me to submit control of my life to Him.
In the end, it will all work out the way God has planned, not the way I want it too.
There is a good reason why God doesn’t want us to buy a house or have a baby right now.
I don’t know what those reasons are, but I do know that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 KJV)
So, even though I don’t know what God’s Will is for our lives right now, I do know that His will is PERFECT!
All I need to do is trust in His good, perfect will for my life.
I need to accept His will for my life, but I also need His strength to help me accept it.
“And he said unto me, ‘My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10(KJV)
Some of my favorite verses are what play on repeat, like a broken record, in my mind…
Those two simple verses resonate so much with so many aspects in my life.
Not just the pain and weakness I am feeling today, but the weakness I feel in every area of my life.
God can make me strong through it all!
God’s will. God’s strength. God’s timing.
All of this ties into trusting God.
All hard lessons to learn, but not impossible.
“But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.”
I leave you with this…
If you are going through a rough time or through a heartache you don’t think you will ever survive, let me tell you one thing: DON’T LOSE HOPE!
Praise God through the heartache, praise Him through the trouble.
He will be your strength when you are weak.
He will give you peace and comfort through the hurt.
He will help you accept His will and timing for your life.
Is there anything I can pray for you in this season of your life? I would love to pray for you!
Comment below, or send me a private message on Facebook! I would love to connect with you!
Until Next Time!
(2017 wasn’t filled with all trials, there were A LOT of good and positives to come out of it… Check them out HERE!)